On Clouds and Trusting His Presence

Written July 2021…

Some people hear God’s voice on the reg. He tells them what color shirt to wear in the morning and whether to turn left or right at a stoplight. Me? I hear God through clouds.

Don’t get me wrong… I am all for the charismatic. My faith is boosted when I receive a prophetic word from someone I trust or have a picture in my head that’s so clearly from Him. It’s God’s heart to reveal Himself to His children. But that hasn’t been my main experience of being in relationship with Him, nor is it the foundation of my faith.

I used to get very down on myself for not hearing or experiencing God in the same way other people did. If someone were to say “God said,” God told me,” or “I was just chatting with God the other day…” it would absolutely blow me away. How could one be that bold to claim knowing actual, real words of the God of the universe? I was always hesitant to claim that, even when I had a sense about what He was saying. Who was I to make such claims?

I don’t think I realized it at the time, but I had a tendency to elevate other people’s relationships with God above my own. This was very distracting when trying to discern how to hear His voice in my own life.

It was when I stopped focusing so much on other people’s experiences with God and just focused on God Himself, it started to become more clear to me how He speaks… in all kinds of ways. First and foremost through His Word, but also through people, through beauty, through tears… all of it. He is a wildly creative and personal God. It’s a major trap of the enemy to persuade Christians to compare their experiences of God. (And also to pursue an experience of God rather than God Himself. Comparison distracts us from knowing God’s heart for us.) But more on that in a moment.

Back to the clouds…

It doesn’t sound as cool, but when you think about it, that was God’s main way of showing Himself to the Israelites during their forty years of wandering in the desert… a cloud by day and a fire by night. Through all their wanderings and disobedience, His presence hovered over them, guided them, and literally fed them.

God is so personal, and He speaks to us however He pleases. I spend a lot of time outside in the summer in a place where there are few buildings, trees, or anything blocking the sky. I can see the sunrise and the sunset from the same chair. Though I don’t always look directly at both of those magnificent events each day… I can usually see the evidence of them. But mostly, I notice the clouds. The way they hover. The way they dance. The way they are always changing shapes.

Though they look different, they are always present in some form or another. Same with the sunrise and sunset… when that brilliant light fills the sky and colors every cloud and speck of sky all around, there’s nothing else to do but stop and stand in awe. Then keep standing, because even after the last speck of sun disappears over the water, the sky will continue to take on a rainbow of color.

When I look at the sky and the clouds, I’m reminded of God’s consistent presence in my life. I’m reminded of His wonder… that there is a bigger purpose and meaning beyond what I can see. I’m reminded of His love and delight. He chose to create the earth and sky with so much beauty because He delights in our delight. I’m reminded that He is good.

Then there are the days when the sky is grey and the clouds seem to block every glimmer of sunlight… every glimmer of hope that it’s still there… somewhere. Have you ever had seasons where there’s just gloom? A thick layer of fog that feels heavy on your chest? I know I have.

But that is where trust is born… when we must still proclaim that He is good. Those are the times that become the foundation of our faith… when we can’t see Him or feel Him, but still choose to trust and obey. This is when trees put down even deeper roots. It’s the storms that make them grow stronger and more steady… more capable to withstand future storms.

Because sometimes He is just silent, and we don’t always get to know why.

This is why it’s important not to pursue experiences of God over pursuing God Himself. Seeking an experience of God is like growing shallow roots. They don’t last. They can’t withstand the storms.

At this point in my life, I am more drawn to the people who have gone the long haul of trusting through hardship. Maybe that’s just my personality, but I think those who have trusted God through pain and suffering have had a much closer view of Him than those who just came back from a worship night with glitter on their hands. Those are cool too, and again, it is good to have our faith boosted. God speaks in so many different ways. But I don’t think the early Christians had regular worship nights with smoke machines and laser flags. They went to church, worshipped together in their homes, and lived quiet lives that reflected the face of Jesus to others. They encountered Jesus and their lives reflected that as they washed their clothes, worked with their hands, and raised their children. They probably went outside and looked at the clouds, remembering God’s constant provision and faithfulness to them over the generations. They didn’t always need God to speak to them in the moment, they believed that God spoke over generations of faithfulness… of showing up time and time again, of making a way for His people.

Don’t get me wrong, I still ask God to speak to me all the time. Sometimes He does and sometimes He’s real quiet. . . but I don’t ask Him in a stressed out “do you really love me?” or “am I spiritual enough?” sort of way anymore. I ask Him with the confidence of someone who knows she is loved. Adored. Fought for. Provided for. Over and over again. Like a daughter asking her Father for something in full assurance of His love. His love is the gift, not His answer.

The clouds that hover, and shift, and disappear over me are reminders that I can trust His presence no matter how loud or softly He speaks. It’s His constant presence and the faith that He is with me that allows me to be at rest through the storms and rejoice more fully in the sunrises and sunsets.

He loves you too. He is faithful and true. Release the expectations of how you want God to speak to you and just receive His goodness in your life. Stop comparing. Seek His face and the rest will fall into place.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” -John 10:27