Summer 2023 Recap
“Acquire the Spirit of Peace and a thousand souls around you will be saved.” Saint Seraphim of Sarov.
We moved back to Virginia Beach a week ago, and I still find myself grasping to hold onto all that took place in the last four months… to bring all that transpired with me and not forget… to water and nurture that which was birthed, and to fight against the pressures that threaten it. This post is my attempt to process some of it and share a bit of what I learned. Here are three things.
First, joy. This is something I’ve been pondering, praying, and writing about for a while now and got to see take shape this summer. I knew going into the summer that I needed to release more control and look for every opportunity to trade in what made me feel safe and comfortable for what was more important. It was a season of trading in things that were even “good,” for the sake of something better. For example, bedtimes are good. Sleep is good. Boundaries are good. Limiting sugar-intake and taking showers are good. But this summer, our kids stayed up later than they ever have, ate more sugar than ever, and went weeks without using real shampoo in their hair. (The pool and ocean count for something right?).
Loosening up in these areas (for a season) became more and more natural for me as I began to see what started to fill the space I was making… Our six-year-old at the center of the dance circle every Thursday night at 11pm, confidence in full flight. Our nine-year-old becoming the star of afternoon boogie boarding sessions, joining in with campers most afternoons instead of our usual rest or schoolwork time. Our eleven and fourteen year old daughters riding in the vans with campers to surf every morning. Many, many trips to the convenience store for candy = pure joy.
Another realization I had about joy: it can be disguised by hard work and mess, but it’s still there. Take our puppy, Ozzie, for example. We got him back in the spring, and to be honest, we all sort of hated his guts. He was SO much work. I found myself stressed and questioning our decision (which I had felt the Lord guiding me in very clearly) on the reg. I didn’t care that he was cute. We ended up sending him to obedience school for the first two months of summer, which was necessary for camp and a much needed break. So when we decided to pick him up and bring him to Hatteras, I was more than a little anxious about how it would go. Would he bark and disturb people? Would he eat kids’ retainers? Would he just be a giant pain? I wanted to have it all planned out but I couldn’t. But then we picked him up and he sat in the car like perfect angel-dog the whole ride back. He was a delight. A huge, white, furry, smelly, smiling, delight. And the funny thing is, he’s obsessed with me. Over the summer he would hear my voice from the top deck and race up the stairs as fast as he could to find me. He sleeps in his crate perfectly and basically listens to anything I say. Yes, he still smells “doggy” and sheds and digs where he shouldn’t at times, but he is a JOY. He wasn’t a joy right away and we had to wait and work for it, but sometimes joy comes through the path of obedience and mess before it is obvious and felt.
Next on the list is daily manna. This was a phrase I turned to frequently and sensed was meant to be adopted as a lifestyle, not just for a season. When we first moved to Hatteras in the beginning of the summer, I was more than a little overwhelmed and stressed. Something about packing up our whole family, preparing the house for renters, and finishing school and end of year activities put me very close to “an edge.” You’ve heard of this edge that some people, usually moms, reference when stressed. “You’re putting me over the edge Johnny!” Well I was on that edge, not sleeping, mind racing with lists of to-do’s, shoulds, and ways I failed or could potentially fail. Not the best way to start a summer. Thankfully, the Lord met me so tenderly. I awoke one morning with the song in my head “take heart, take heart, I have overcome the world” over and over. If Jesus has already overcome the world, I can take heart in my list of strivings and failings and trust Him with that day.
“Manna” was the bread from heaven that literally fell out of the sky to provide food for the Israelites on their journey out of Egypt to the Promise Land. He would only give them enough for THAT day. If they tried to store any up for the next day, just in case God didn’t come through, it would rot. Why would God do that? Was He being tricksy? I think He knew there was more blessing in learning to trust God’s provision than in stockpiles of extra food. The blessing was in trusting. How often do we get caught up in tomorrow, in all the “shoulds,” and miss out on what God wants to pour out THIS day. It is much more natural for me to worry about the future than to trust God to provide for me today. But when there are SO many different categories to worry and stress over, I come to the end of myself and surrender to Him anew with a simple prayer. “God, please provide for me this day. Give me everything I need and help me to trust You. Fill me with Your joy and peace.”
As it turns out, when I’m not so busy worrying about the future or even the next day, it’s a lot more FUN. I’m a lot more fun. This is another reason we referred to this summer as “the summer of joy.” I learned to develop a posture of trust when I started to spiral into fear. I learned to choose the path of joy. I laughed more. I surfed more. I danced more. I’m still learning what this means, but I think I’m onto something that I want to carry into this next season.
The third and overarching theme of the summer was peace. Peace goes along with joy, but something that really hit home this summer was how much my family wanted me to simply be at peace, dare I say, happy even. This guided some of the daily choices I made, realizing how much my tendency is to choose duty over desire… to do what I think I should do, as opposed to what I want to do. Clearly, this can be taken too far, but I decided to experiment with doing more things for the pure sake of FUN, not just duty. I decided that FUN was the most tangible, outward expression of JOY which can also point others to the ultimate Source of it. This mostly looked like surfing more than I ever have in a summer, early morning beach walks, and staying up later than I typically would. I heard this quote somewhere this summer and it really resonated with what my people need most from me:
“Acquire the Spirit of Peace and a thousand souls around you will be saved.” -Saint Seraphim of Sarov.
In my case, I would translate that to: “Go surfing, watch the sun rise, and eat gummy bears and your children will experience God’s goodness through you.” Ultimately my children and others aren’t going to follow the hard path of discipleship of Jesus because I TOLD them about God’s great love for them. Yes, I will still do that. But how much more impactful will it be if I can SHOW them peace in the midst of chaos, joy in the good gifts we’ve been given, and what it looks like to pray and ask God for daily manna.
A cute, quick example of this is my affinity for seaglass. There can be perfect waves in front of me, but if I see a shell bed at the right tide, I cannot resist searching for a piece before I do anything else. It’s real treasure to me, and I will never stop loving the search of it and the way God speaks to me through finding it (and not finding it). But the cool thing is, I’ve noticed how much my six-year-old, Isaiah, has come to share this love of seaglass too. He is a collector of beautiful things and I always tell him he has an eye for beauty. (Just like his momma, ha.) But I don’t think he adopted this love and appreciation for seaglass because I TOLD him how cool it is and read him a book about it. He has seen my delight and shared in my delight. We have wondered together where it came from and have jumped up and down after finding rare colors and shapes. It’s the same with God. I put so much pressure on myself to say and do the right things and steward my kids and others well. But I’m remembering that the most powerful way for me to live is SHOWING them how to have fun and delight when it’s the right time AND how to trust God with today, even when things are hard. It all points to God being Lord of it ALL and in it ALL. He is in the blessings of this life, He is in the sorrows, and He is the only One who can mix joy and sorrow together to make something beautiful.
Just a few snaps of summer 2023